there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
