i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
