i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
