Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You ruined the universe
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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