Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
