Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
