Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
even my farts smell like vagina
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
