Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize