So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
