The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
