pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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