Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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