Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cannot find my penis.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
