I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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