yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize