I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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