so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
