I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
