tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
