Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
