The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
