i may or may not be watching the land before time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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