you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
