Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
