every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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