So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
