It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
