That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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