Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
