I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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