He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
