Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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