i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
