Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
