I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
