So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
