Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize