Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
