But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
