Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
