But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
