his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
