Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
