There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
