Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
