No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
