You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
3pm strippers are depressing
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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