I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
