we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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