White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
