i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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