My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
