i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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