I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
