i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
