my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
