The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
