you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
