I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
